Sports

Why Do Women’s Professional Sports Even Exist?

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t be able to play sports, I’m just asking why anyone would think that sports fans would pay to watch them play. I’m a supporter of girls and young women playing sports. I even coach my daughter’s T-Ball team, that has as many girls as boys on it. I think it’s important for girls to play sports in grade school and high school. I even think that it’s important for young women to play sports in college. Playing sports teaches everyone valuable life lessons. I will personally be taking advantage of Title IX, to get my daughter a free ride to college playing some obscure sport.

But that’s where I draw the line. There is absolutely no reason for there to be professional women’s sports. Don’t believe me? Then check the ratings. Look way down at the bottom of the ratings, if they even register. The American public has spoken and the message has been delivered loud and clear. We don’t care about professional sports starring women.

I’m only going to focus on the sports that are fraudulently pushed down the throats of sports fans as if they mattered. Those sports would be Women’s Tennis, the LPGA and the WNBA. All of the women in these “sports” are world class athletes. There is simply no denying this fact. They could each kick my ass in their chosen sport. But I’m just some dope who writes silly articles. Nobody will pay to watch me participate in sports either.

Women’s tennis is the most legitimate of the three, but it still pales in comparison to Men’s Tennis. The most popular woman tennis player in history is without question, Anna Kournikova. You can try to argue that the Williams sisters are more popular, but you would be wrong. Kournikova isn’t even playing anymore and if you ask a casual sports fan to name a woman tennis player, they will probably say Kournikova. Especially if it’s a guy. If you Google her, you get website after website of her sexy photos, not her tennis career. You know why? Because she never won a single tournament in her entire career. Ever. That’s just sad. You know what’s even more sad? The fact that Women’s Tennis isn’t alone.

Quick, name the first LPGA golfer that you can think of. I’m going to assume that you either said Michelle Wie or Natalie Gulbis. Why? Because they are both the face of the LPGA. Don’t believe me, then maybe you would believe David Higdon. Higdon, the chief communications officer for the LPGA said, “Michelle Wie has the ability to take the LPGA from golf fans to sports fans. She creates buzz. She’s funny, smart, attractive and she’s still young. She’s very important to us.” The reason this “sport” shouldn’t even exist is that neither of these women have ever won a single tournament. Ever. Seeing a trend here?

Gulbis has her own show on the Golf Channel, I have been told, in spite of the fact that she isn’t a great golfer. I wonder why that is? Oh yeah, it’s because she’s hot. Again, Google her and watch the sexy pics come up. Hey, I’m just doing the necessary research for my articles. Did you forget that almost all sports fans are men?

Then we have Michelle Wie who has been handed her career on a silver platter and has never been able to do anything with the opportunity. She has been given exemption after exemption into tournaments since she was 13. Even though she couldn’t even compete with the other women golfers, she has been given repeated “Sponsor Exemptions” to play against men in PGA tournaments. This makes the PGA almost as fraudulent, but lucky for them, a certain guy named after an animal keeps that entire “sport” afloat. Letting a sponsor decide who gets to play in a professional tournament would be like if I won the lottery and bribed Bud Selig to let my daughter’s T-Ball team play in the World Series. It’s a joke.

Another joke is that the LPGA might actually go bankrupt, since hey have lost 12 tournaments in the last three years. Of the tour’s 29 events in 2009, 11 of them will be played outside the United States, which won’t help the ratings. Also not helping is the fact that most sponsors are American companies, but no American player has won LPGA player of the year since 1994, and just three U.S. players are in the top 10 of the world rankings. Do you know who Lorena Ochoa is? Of course you don’t, but she is the most successful golfer in the LPGA, having won 23 tournaments since the start of the 2006 season. Or 23 more tournaments than the two most popular LPGA golfer combined. Sad.

Finally, let’s consider the WNBA. Or as I like to call it “What the Hell is David Stern Thinking?” Nobody watches it. I mean nobody. The games are slow and boring, because the women aren’t as athletic as the men who play basketball. There are no recognizable stars. And in spite of this, the NBA forces this crap on sports fans. What’s that joke during the All-Star games, where they have a 3-on-3 game with an NBA star, a retired star and an WNBA “star” from each city? Are you kidding me? Stern keeps trying to sell the WNBA as a legitimate sport, but nobody is buying.

It’s gotten so bad for the WNBA that they recently agreed to allow advertisements on the uniforms of the players. If I was rich, I would pay just to make one of those team’s put “Chico’s Bail Bonds” on their uniforms.

I fully expect to receive a fair amount of grief for this one. The thing is, nobody will be able to prove that anything I have said isn’t true. It’s all true and it’s all very, very sad. All girls and young ladies should participate in sports during their lives. They just shouldn’t’ expect anybody to watch them or care just because they call themselves professionals. It’s just another life lesson that sports can teach us.

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