Sports

Philadelphia Eagles: Why They Will Continue to be Losers…

The Philadelphia Eagles finally got around to officially announcing that Howie Roseman has been named their new General Manager. On a scale of obvious statements this ranks somewhere between, “The more you drink the better that fat chick looks…” and “Yeah, I think there will be a few erectile dysfunction ads during the Super Bowl too.”

All kidding aside, this is just another in a long line of moves that this organization has made that guarantees that they will never win a Superbowl.

By hiring someone who was already in the organization, they have insured that nothing will change. They got the “yes man” that they wanted and nothing else matters. Well, that’s not entirely true. All that really matters to the bastards that own and run the Philadelphia Eagles is how much money they can make. The stadium is full and there is a waiting list that could fill it twice more. That means the Eagles organization is in its “Happy Place” and doesn’t want to change anything.

To be fair, we should look at Roseman’s qualifications. As a graduate of Fordham Law School, Howie Roseman has the slimy ability to lie to people’s faces and make it look sincere. That’s the number one priority for anyone working in Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie’s front office under team President Joe Banner. The other thing you have to be is supremely arrogant even though you have never won a damn thing. Since Roseman has been with the Eagles for the last eleven years, working directly for Banner, I’ll assume he is sufficiently arrogant.

Roseman, 34, doesn’t have a traditional background for an NFL GM. Instead of having an NFL pedigree from either coaching, playing or scouting, Roseman spent most of his time over the last eleven years helping Banner with the salary cap. Only in the last year has he moved over into helping former GM, Tom Heckert, on the player evaluation side. That’s right, one whole year of player personnel experience. Yeah, he sounds qualified to me.

This announcement was expected even before Tom Heckert left to take the GM job with the Cleveland Browns. The Eagles did bring in other token candidates to satisfy the ridiculous “Rooney Rule”, which requires teams to interview minority candidates for coaching and front office jobs. To satisfy that rule the Eagles interviewed assistant director of pro personnel, Louis Riddick. Riddick is an African American who is a former NFL safety that has been with the Eagles for two years after spending several years working in the personnel department of the Washington Redskins. The only other interview was with Ryan Grigson, who has been with the Eagles for the last six years as the director of college scouting. I hope the Eagles bought Riddick and Grigson lunch during these “interviews” otherwise it was a complete and utter waste of their time.

By only looking in-house, the Eagles missed an opportunity to get unbiased, untainted view of their roster and organization. Someone who hasn’t been inside this organization and might bring some new ideas to the table. Someone who, say, has actually won something.

Look, the Eagles way of doing things in their current set-up has produced exactly zero Lombardi Trophies. Nothing else should matter, yet this team is happy with the status quo. That is why they will never win anything as they are currently constituted.

Everybody wants to point out how good Reid does in the draft by pointing to guys like DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin. OK, Jackson is a star, but Reid also drafted wide receiver Freddie Mitchell when Chad Ochocinco, Chris Chambers, and Reggie Wayne were available in the draft. His draft record is average at best. He is also solely responsible for the atrocity that the defense has become. Every single player on the Eagles defense was drafted or signed under the current front office set-up.

During Andy Reid’s early success with the Eagles, he relied on a dominant defense to win him games with turnovers and great field position. Those defenses were built with players chosen by former coach Ray Rhodes, former GM Tom Modrak and former personnel man Michael Lombardi. They were all shown the door, when Reid was given the title of “Grand Pooh-Bah” of the Eagles. That was when Reid was given final say in all personnel matters, making him the actual GM. Well, Reid does have to listen to Banner tell him who fits into the precious salary cap, so maybe Banner actually decides who they sign. Either way, Banner and Reid have been the constants over the last eleven years that have produced zero championships. With the hiring of Howie Roseman as the new GM, that organizational structure will remain exactly the same.

I tend to look at this team more as the one that got embarrassed by a legitimate team in the Dallas Cowboys, rather than the won that won 11 games against an endless stream of terrible teams during the regular season. (One win against a team with a winning record, and that 9-7 Falcons team played the Eagles without their starting quarterback or runningback).

“I’ve never been in this role before,” Roseman said. “Everyone puts their own little spin on things. Debate and discussion is part of great organizations.” Uh, how would you know, Howie? The only organization you have ever worked for is the Eagles under Reid and Banner. “Andy makes the final call, but he wants to hear your opinions”, Roseman continued. “He doesn’t want to hear just yes men.”

Did anyone else’s “Bullshit Meter” just explode? Roseman’s hiring proves that all the Eagles ever want is a “Yes man”. Apparently Roseman said that with a straight face, so he’s already made the Eagles organization happy. It’s too bad the Eagles organization’s definition of happy is so vastly different from the real Eagles fans who want and deserve a championship.

The Eagles will never win anything as they are currently run. The last eleven years without a Lombardi Trophy proven that out.  Need I say more?

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