Sports

Post-Game Week 17: Eagles “Pass” On Bye, Lose to Cowboys

What came first the Chicken or the (Goose) Egg the Eagles just laid against the Cowboys?

The Eagles got their asses handed to them in embarrassing fashion in a 24-0 loss to the Dallas Cowboys. That means that the Cowboys win the NFC East and the teams will play again next week in the same stadium in the first round of the playoffs. I’ve never been so pissed off about making the playoffs in my life. But that’s a discussion for another day. We need to pick over this dead carcass of a game first.

The Eagles defense couldn’t stop the Cowboys running game as both Marion Barber and Felix Jones rushed for 91 yards each. Barber had 58 yards on the Cowboys opening TD drive, in a sign of what was to come. The defense also couldn’t stop Tony Romo, who completed 24 of 34 passes for 311 yards, with 2 TDs and 1 INT. Maybe that’s because he had all day in the pocket to find open receivers. And when he did find them, Sheldon Brown and Asante Samuel took turns biting hard on fakes and giving up big plays. They couldn’t contain yet another TE. Jason Witten had 6 catches for 76 yards and a TD.

The Eagles also couldn’t generate any offense whatsoever. Donovan McNabb was putrid. He completed 20 of 36 passes for 223 yards and a fumbled snap. He missed wide open receivers repeatedly, including both DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin (who totally punked out on the last play when he didn’t even go for a pass as he was about to get hit. Todd Pinkston anyone?) for sure TDs. Part of that was due to the fact that the Eagles offensive line played terribly. They gave up four sacks and had two false start penalties that I can remember. One was of course on Jason Peters. The line only enabled the running game to generate 3.7 yards per carry too. But that stat is a bit deceiving.

It’s deceiving because Andy Reid completely abandoned the run again. It was just a matter of time before that big fat dope reverted to his passaholic ways, but this was ridiculous. The Eagles called 38 passing plays and only 8 running plays. That shouldn’t be possible. I guess that would explain why the Eagles had the ball for less than 20 minutes during the game. For those Andy Reid butt-munchers out there who will say that the Eagles couldn’t run because they were behind the entire game, I will point out that they ran the ball only five times the entire first half, when the game was still close. I will also point out that you are an idiot. Please remove your head from Andy Reid’s ass and try to catch a glimpse of reality for a change.

Andy also proved once again that he is the worst game-day coach in the NFL. He didn’t make any in-game adjustments, when it was obvious that his game plan wasn’t going to work. If he actually made any adjustments, then that’s even worse since the Eagles got shut out. He even called the dumbest timeout I have ever seen. Andy called a timeout when the Eagles were going to punt instead of simply taking a delay of game penalty for five yards. Other, smart coaches, take that five yard penalty on purpose when they are inside the opposing team’s 50 yard line to give their punter more room to punt. Not our Andy. He’s a friggin’ genius, remember? When questioned about it after the game he said he didn’t want to give up any yards. What a complete idiot.

Andy was also as arrogant as ever. During his post-game news conference he was asked if he thought about taking McNabb out of the game in the 4th quarter, since it was all but over. He smirked, laughed a condescending laugh and said “no”. That is a perfect example of why I hate Andy Reid. I guess he didn’t see New England’s Wes Welker getting injured today in a meaningless game for the Patriots. Dope.

I took lots of notes on this game and had all sorts of game stats ready, but why bother. I’d much rather just rant about an Eagles team that showed absolutely no heart in getting humiliated last Sunday. Instead of getting the second seed and a first-round bye, the Eagles will have to play the Cowboys in Jerry Jones’ new billion dollar playpen again next week.

The Eagles finished the regular season 11-5, but that was due to one of the easiest schedules ever. If you don’t believe me, then consider that the Eagles played only four games against playoff teams all season (including the Cowboys twice) and lost all four games. Also, considering that the Eagles have now scored one TD in 21 possessions in the two games this season against the Cowboys, is there anybody who actually believes that this season isn’t already over? Anybody? Put your hand down Andy. We’re going to PASS on your vote.

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