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Has everyone out there heard of Greater Tuna, a legendary show based on a political skit envisioned 20 years ago in Austin, Texas by creators Joe Sear, Jaston Williams, and Ed Howard? If you have, you’ll be itching to attend the sequel at the Walnut Street Theatre called A Tuna Christmas. This funnier than squirrels on skis production begins November 25, 2008 and runs through January 4, 2009.

Greater Tuna is a hilarious comedy about Texas’ third smallest town. The eclectic citizens of this bastion of decency are portrayed by only two actors – this is the genius of the concept – who transform themselves into men, women, children, and even animals in this satirical look at life in rural America.

Along comes A Tuna Christmas, just in time for the holidays. It’s 24 hours before Christmas and times they are tough. Bertha Bumiller’s drunken husband hasn’t come home, her kids are messes, and a Christmas phantom is destroying the town’s festive decorations. Once again, two actors play 24 madcap characters.

And what better place to see what is sure to become a legendary holiday tradition than to see it at a theatre that’s already a piece of Philadelphia history – The Walnut Street Theatre. Click here to find out how to get tickets. The theatre is located at 825 Walnut Street in Philadelphia, or you can call 215-574-3550. Don’t forget to ask them to put Jessica Simpson on the line because you need to make sure there is no residual chicken in any of that tuna.

Hey everybody, get ready to celebrate Christmas like it’s 1399! You heard right. Philadelphia is going medieval – in a good way. With the Bubonic Plague well under control for more than 600 years, it’s safe once again to welcome the holiday season with a traditional outdoor German Christmas Market. It’s the Christmas Village in Philadelphia at Dilworth Plaza, running from Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve.

You can find the Christmas Village on the west side of City Hall. Venders will set up shop in more than 50 wooden booths and timber houses to sell European food, sweets and drinks, as well as international seasonal holiday gifts, ornaments and high quality arts and crafts.

Thousands of lights twinkle among the booths and trees to light your way through this enchanting medieval village experience, with the Christmas Village scenery integrating it into the also highly illuminated City Hall. Music? But, of course! What would the holiday season be without music? A centrally located stage welcomes live performances of local choirs, orchestras and bands. Santa will be there in his own house to take requests from the kids and make sure everything proceeds in a festive fashion.

And don’t forget about the official municipal Christmas tree lighting ceremony. I don’t know about you, but nothing quite gets the excitement flowing through my veins like the words “official” and “municipal” combined together in a sentence. Just kidding! Come on. It’s a tree with lights. It’s GOT to be good.

The Christmas Village is open daily from 11 AM to 9 PM beginning November 28 and lasting through December 24. Need more info? Click here.

Philadelphia area singles sit up and take notice. For the low, low price of $39.99 you too can head over to the indoor FDR Golf Course and smack balls to your heart’s content. Don’t worry. You won’t be left alone without a chaperone. Philadelphia’s #1 golf coach, Adz Kozlowski (PGA of America Member) will be along to give you instant feedback about how to improve your chances of scoring – low, that is – low score. I was talking about lowering the number on your score card. What the heck were you thinking about? Get your mind out of the gutter!

The Singles Golf Clinic takes place Sunday, November 23, 2008, at 9:30 AM and is hosted by Meet Market Adventures, Philadelphia’s leading singles and adventure alchemists. Doesn’t matter whether you play regularly or have never actually touched a club, this clinic will teach you a lot about golf in a short time. Even if you’re a hacker, never fear, unlimited golf balls will let you practice, practice, practice until it’s perfect or at least a loose approximation thereof. Kozlowski is an expert on helping you instantly visualize your swing and understand your natural swing tendencies.

The price quoted above includes range time, clubs, golf balls, all taxes, and the lesson from Adz Kozlowski. As of this writing, 8 of the 10 slots for the class have been filled. If you’re interested, better get clicking here to reserve your space. The indoor FDR Course is located at 2000 Pattison Avenue in Philadelphia.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is a mouthful of a disease. Here in the United States it’s commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, named after the legendary New York Yankees first baseman. If you’ve never seen his short but famous farewell speech at Yankee stadium, check it out here. The disease is not pretty, beginning with degeneration of nerve cells in the central nervous system, leading to muscle weakness, atrophy, and usually death.

But on Sunday, November 23, 2008, the ALS Hope Foundation will be holding its second annual “Voices of Hope” at the Waterford Room in the Radisson Hotel in Valley Forge, PA. In keeping with the spirit of Gehrig’s farewell statement, though only two years from death, that he considered himself “the luckiest man on the face of the earth”, this year’s event is all about facing life head on with a twinkle in the eye.

After the lunch buffet, the Sunderman Opera Company will present a one act comic opera called “The Beautiful Bridegroom”, composed by Daniel Shore. This tuneful and lyrical Mozart pastiche finds a widow deciding she’d rather get a husband for herself than for her unmarried daughters. Following the opera will be a concert featuring Broadway and classical pieces, as well as an original composition based on the Spoon River Anthologies composed by Stephen Senderoff, who is living with ALS. All proceeds from this event will go directly to the ALS Hope Foundation.

You can learn more about the Foundation here and even buy your tickets online or make a donation. The Radisson Hotel in Valley Forge is located at 1160 First Avenue, King of Prussia, PA 19406.

Let’s trot like a turkey again. The 2nd Annual Gobbler 5K Run and Family Fun Walk will be held Saturday, November 29, 2008, at 9 AM. The location will once more be the winding tree-lined trails along the beautiful lakes of Camp Ockanickon. It doesn’t matter of you’re an Olympic runner or meandering family. Everyone is welcome to challenge themselves against the clock to see who will win the Mighty Pilgrim of the Pines Award (that’s a little Colonial lingo).

What better way to work off those extra calories that may have sneaked into your diet than to get out and sprint ’til you vomit? Actually, they DON’T encourage that. This is supposed to be a fun, healthy time that benefits the Strong Kids Scholarship Campaign. Your support of this event will directly give a child in need the chance to experience YMCA Camp Ockanickon, Camp Matollionequay, or Lake Stillwell day summer camps.

There will be eight age categories and prizes for the top three places in each category. Everyone gets a t-shirt and free refreshments. If you’re affiliated with a local group, organization or business, you might be interested in signing up a four person team to compete for the soon to be coveted Mighty Pilgrim Challenge Gravy Bowl Trophy.

You can learn more about Camp Ockanickon and the race details here. The camp is located at 1303 Stokes Road, Medford, NJ 08055. Registration begins at 8 AM at Camp Ockanickon Dining Hall and the race begins at 9 AM. Show up! Run! Walk! Saunter! Help a kid.

I may have a little good natured fun at their expense in the following paragraphs but obviously AC/DC and Madonna are as big as it gets when it comes to music passing through the Philadelphia area. You know what they are. If you like ‘em, go see ‘em.

AC/DC (Wachovia Center, 11/17/2008, 8 PM)
Grandfatherly hard rock icons are back with their first album in seven decades, Black Ice. Hmm, Back In Black was pretty good. They’re going for the deuce in phraseology here. I don’t care what you say – satanic midgets in schoolboy outfits have worked well for these guys. Heavy, repetitive, rhythmic six strings, vocal yowling like a cat in a blender set to ‘liquify’, and the sleeping drummer who never misses a beat…sigh…I LOVE this band. Learn all about ‘em here.

Madonna (Wachovia Center, 11/20/2008, 8 PM)
The Material Girl finds her personal life sort of busy right now - high profile divorce from director Guy Ritchie and adopting African babies at the rough rate of one per hour – but still finds time to hit the road for her fans. Having jumped the shark about ten years ago, she has become mostly irrelevant from a musical standpoint. Her greatest post-2000 claims to fame are Frenching Britney on live television and doing A-Rod between innings of Yankees game. Click here to learn what Hard Candy is all about.

Let’s do some free associatin’ with the following band names. Vibe on me to decide which ones to see.

Have Heart (First Unitarian Church, 11/16/2008)
The incredible swelling sister.

Daniella Cotton (Johnny Brenda’s, 11/19/2008)
Makes me think of underwear. Mmm…cotton.

Susan Tedeschi (Keswick Theater, 11/18/2008)
Damn you, John Tesh, you ruined my life!

Electric Six (The Khyber, 11/20/2008)
Never, ever urinate on a live electric fence.

Enjoy the music. Stay safe and watch for falling coconuts!

Learned something today – the shortened version of chrysanthemums is mums. Who knew? I didn’t! I now stride more confidently through the world of flowers secure in the knowledge I am no longer quite the ignorant idiot that I once was. While there is still much knowledge I don’t possess regarding flowers (like practically everything), at least now I can lay claim that the words chrysanthemum and mum both refer to the same genus of about 30 species of flowering perennial plants.

What does this have to do with the price of bottle rockets in China?

Get yourself over to Longwood Garden’s palatial Conservatory and find out about the Chrysanthemum Festival. More than 20,000 colorful, blooming chrysanthemums are found flourishing inside. This year, the chrysanthemum showcase takes a look at the 12 forms and how they make these spectacular flowers into six foot hanging baskets, fun topiaries, colorful cascades that drape off the columns of the Conservatory, and rotating cubes adorning the Orangery.

Longwood Gardens is dedicated to preserving the spirit and beauty of the early 20th century gardens of Pierre S. du Pont. It boils down to this – they are masters of display horticulture. It’s what they do and they won’t stop until you’re dead! Wait! No, that’s from the movie Terminator and has nothing to do with chrysanthemums. Let me regroup for a moment - when visiting, prepare yourself for a breathtaking experience, with a tradition and elegance that have evolved over time. The result you see today is magnificent and quite worth the time to attend.

The Chrysanthemum display takes place at Longwood on November 18-20, 2008, at 2:30 PM each day. Longwood Gardens is conveniently located at 1001 Longwood Road, Kennett Square, PA 19348.