Sports

Top 10 Most Annoying Sports Fans

These aren’t the worst fans in sports, just the most universally annoying to the real fans out there. Or, maybe these are just the fans that piss me off the most. I didn’t include fringe sports, like Hockey, or non-team sports like Nascar, or even sports that Americans don’t give a rat’s ass about like Soccer. We’re just talking about the big-time sports fans here. In any event, here is my list of the Top Ten Most Annoying Sports Fans.

10. Los Angeles Lakers Fans

These fans are on this list for one reason and one reason alone.  No, it isn’t because they worship that obnoxious jerk Kobe Bryant, it’s all the celebrities who sit courtside.  Look, Jack Nicholson is a great actor, but I don’t need to see his grinning face a billion times a game when the Lakers are playing. Enough already, I get it. There are a lot of celebrities in LA.

9. New York Mets Fans

While I admire the passion of Mets fans, they make this list because they are also delusional.   The Mets choke at the end of the 2007 season so they sign Johan Santana in the offseason.   The fanbase (obviously including all of the national media) proclaim that they will now win the World Series.   They choke again at the end of the 2008 season so they go out and rebuild their bullpen by getting JJ Putz and Francisco Rodriguez.  Their fans (once again including the national media) declare that they will win the World Series. Enough already.  How can you be so friggin obnoxious about your team when they have proven to be nothing but a bunch of heartless choke artists?  Pipe down Mets fans. You look like idiots.

8. Chicago Cubs Fans

Again, Cubs fans are passionate, but the refuse to live in reality.  It hasn’t been 100 years since their last Championship because of a “curse.”  The team isn’t winning because they just aren’t good enough.  To use some arbitrary “curse” as an excuse is nothing more than a Loser’s Lament.  Cubs fans should be better than this, but apparently they aren’t.   Therefore, they belong on this list.

7. New York Yankee Fans

No, this isn’t just an anti-New York thing. I just can’t stand a fan-base that gives off such a sense of entitlement.   The Yankees payroll is always the highest in baseball every single year.  They have single players who make more than entire teams.  They can and do sign whoever they want every off-season.  Yet, they haven’t won anything in ten years.   When this fact is brought up to the Yanks fans, they just start in with the “26 Championships” crap.   Hey guys, not only should you have won that many championships with an unlimited payroll and a team filled with Hall of Famers for decades, but you should have won more.  MLB needs a salary cap just so that the Yankees can never win another championship ever and these fans are forced to shut the hell up.

6. Los Angeles Dodgers Fans

They show up late, if they bother to show up at all.  They leave early.  They don’t know anything about the sport or their team.   And last year during the playoffs, numerous Phillies fans were threatened by gang-bangers in the stands.  Dodger Stadium security’s response was to remove the Phillies fans.  I guess security was afraid to get killed by the Bloods & Crips too huh?  I’m rooting for the next earthquake to take LA to the bottom of the Pacific.

5. Tampa Bay Rays Fans

At this time last year, you couldn’t find 20,000 Rays fans even in Tropicana Field during a Rays’ home game. Hell their “fans” didn’t even show up during their stretch run to the playoffs. b Then when the fans finally did start showing up, I couldn’t wait for them to go away.   The worst offense? Those damn Cowbells! Look, I love the Saturday Night Live skit with Christopher Walken, “I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more Cowbell.” But seriously, that’s just stupid.  And real fans don’t need props like cowbells or those lame “thundersticks” to make noise.  A real fan only needs two things, their lungs.  Don’t even get me started on the “Faux-Hawks.”  It’s more like “Faux-Fans.”

4. Florida Marlins Fans

This team has only been in existence since 1993, yet they have already won two World Series Championships.  My Phillies have been around for more than 100-years and they only have two Championships.  Yet, these “fans” never come out to support the Marlins.  I understand that Florida is a place with lots of people from other cities.  I even understand that ownership has been cheap and completely dismantled both World Series Championship rosters immediately.   But, that’s no excuse for having almost no fan- base whatsoever. The simple fact is that baseball doesn’t work in Florida and both teams should be relocated or contracted.  It would actually take these “fans” a year or two to figure out their team is even gone.

3. Boston Red Sox Fans

I know they’re passionate, but they’re also insufferable jackasses.   It is Wicked-Hahd not to be annoyed by these fans.  They were tolerable before they won their first Championship, but winning removed their underdog label.  What they were left with was a bunch of deranged lunatics.  I would also like to point out that the two Red Sox teams that won the World Series had the two highest payrolls of any team to ever win the Championship.  That kinda makes their railing against the Yankees “Evil Empire” spending money a little hypocritical don’t you think?  These fans are so bad they have poisoned the Patriots fans (who just missed the cut here).  At every Patriots Super Bowl Parade, these dilweeds chanted “Yankees Suck.” While I agree with that statement, it just cements this fan-base’s place on this list.

2. Notre Dame Fighting Irish Fans

The only college fans on this list earned their place.  I’m not sure why every person of Irish decent is automatically ordained to be a Notre Dame fan, but they are.  You ask one of these fans why they are Notre Dame fans and they will tell you “Because I’m Irish.” I respond that they’re also an asshat, but that doesn’t seem to faze them.  These fans are completely delusional with regard to their team.  They always think they will win it all.  They always have the Heisman Trophy winner.  They always think they are the best at everything.   They even have their own network contract for football games.   Now that is arrogant.  The fact is they haven’t won a National Championship since 1988.   Until the 2008 Hawaii Bowl, they hadn’t even won a Bowl game since the 1993 Cotton Bowl.   I was even at Notre Dame back in 1990 (my senior year at Penn State) to watch my Nittany Lions defeat the then #1 Irish on a last second Craig Fayak FG.   It is also the lamest college campus on the planet.   There is only one stinkin’ bar there.  ONE.   That fact alone should get Notre Dame on this list, but their moronic fans are second only to one.

1. Dallas Cowboys Fans

As if there was any doubt.  First of all, I am talking mostly about all the Cowboy fans around the country that are not from Texas and have never been to a home Cowboys game.   The actual season ticket-holders who are the “real” fans are a lame bunch themselves, but at least they have a real claim to being a fan of the team.  No, the annoying ones are the “faux fans.”  These frauds are the worst kind of scum on the planet. They are loud, obnoxious idiots who normally have no idea who is even currently on the team.  They became fans when the team was winning because they were complete losers in life.  They are everywhere when the team is winning, but you can’t ever find them when the team is losing.  All they ever say is “Five Super Bowl Trophies.” To that I say, none since the 1995 season.  As a matter of fact, the Cowboys haven’t even won a playoff game since 1996.  And the next playoff game current QB Tony Romo wins will be his first.  The most annoying thing about these douchebags is the whole “America’s Team” crap.  That moniker alone puts this fan-base as the #1 most annoying sports fans.

Think there is another team or two that should have been on this list?  Think your team is unfairly included on this list?  Think my Eagles have the most annoying fans?   Well let me hear it. You would all be wrong, but I’m willing to take the time to educate you.

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